Courtesy of the MHPG
Bibliography for children and parents of assisted reproduction
Revised by the MHPG Education Committee, Summer 2014.
Contributors (in alphabetical order): Jennifer Adams, Ph.D., Julie Bindeman, PsyD., Jana Frances Fisher, Ph.D., Elaine Gordon, Ph.D., Kim Kluger-Bell, MFT, Gretchen Sewall, RN, LICSW, Tara Simpson, PsyD, Ellen Speyer, M.F.T., Julia T. Woodward, PhD.
Special thanks also to the Shady Grove Reproductive Science Center Psychological Staff for their significant contribution to this list.
Most of the books listed here are available from www.amazon.com unless otherwise noted. For excellent lists of books on adoption for parents and children see the resources listed on the Pact website: www.pactadopt.org.
Books for Adults
Healing Mind, Healthy Woman: Using the Mind/Body Connection to Manage Stress and Take Control of Your Life (1997)
Although this is not a book exclusively for individuals with infertility, there is one chapter devoted exclusively to infertility and there are numerous examples from Ali's infertility patients. The focus of the book is teaching mind/body skills, including cognitive-behavioral and relaxation strategies.
Steps to Increased Fertility: An Integrated Medical and Mind/Body Approach to Promote Conception (2000) (co-authored with Drs. Barbieri and Loughlin)This may be a bit outdated medically but the mind/body sections are still effective.
Self-Nurture: Learning to Care for Yourself as Effectively as You Care for Everyone Else (2001)
This is aimed at all women who struggle with meeting their own needs. There are numerous stories of women included as well as many cognitive-behavioral strategies.
Conquering Infertility: Dr. Alice Domar's Mind/Body Guide to Enhancing Fertility and Coping with Infertility (2004)
This book is aimed at women struggling to get pregnant, whether or not in treatment. It contains dozens of patient stories as well as numerous cognitive-behavioral and relaxation strategies. It is a very hands on skills acquisition book.
Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Break Free From the Perfection Deception (2008)
This book is aimed at women who struggle with achieving perfection in many areas of their life, including body image, parenting, their home, and their relationships.
Live a Little (2009) (co-authored with Dr. Susan Love)
This is aimed at all women, not just those with infertility. The aim of the book is to educate women about what the research actually shows in terms of the impact of lifestyle habits on our health.
Finding Calm for the Expectant Mom (2016)
Although not aimed specifically at women who have conceived after infertility, the book is meant for women who are experiencing anxiety or distress while pregnant. It is comprised of numerous stress reducing strategies, with a cognitive-behavioral focus.
Reproductive Trauma: Psychotherapy with Infertility and Pregnancy Loss Clients (APA, 2011) This can be thought of as a kind of handbook for therapists in working with this population, and provides theoretical constructs as well as practical advice in clinicians.
Noonan, Jen (2015) In Due Time. A journey Through Infertility, Loss and Embracing the Unknown. Denver: Mission Bay Press
In Due Time chronicles Jen’s initial difficulty to conceive her son followed by the most physically and emotionally demanding time trying to expand her family. Intimate details of infertility testing and medication through failed attempts at pregnancy, in vitro attempts and embryo transfers are divulged. An emotional mixture of hope, defeat, success, and loss depicts her lengthy struggle to embrace the unknown.
Eichberg, Carrie (2017) Building My Family: A Story of Egg Donation and Surrogacy
This book is aimed at heterosexual couples wanting to explain to their children their birth story. It is for children born through both surrogacy and egg donation.
Stamm, Linda, (2016) Harry the Helper: A family uses a gestational carrier to have another baby
Blitzer, Barbara. (2011). The Infertility Workbook: A Mind-Body Program to Enhance Fertility, Reduce Stress, and Maintain Emotional Balance. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Charlesworth, Liza. (2004). The Couple's Guide to In Vitro Fertilization: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Your Chances of Success. Da Capo Press.
Daniluk, Judith C. (2001). The Infertility Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know to Cope with the Challenges While Maintaining Your Sanity, Dignity, and Relationships. New Harbinger.
Domar, Alice D., and Levert, Suzanne. (2004). Conquering Infertility: Dr. Alice Domar’s Mind/Body Guide to Enhancing Fertility and Coping with Infertility. Penguin Books.
Ford, Melissa. (2009). Navigating the Land of If: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options. Seal Press.
Glazer, Ellen Sarasohn. (1998). The Long-Awaited Stork: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility. Jossey-Bass.
Jaffe, Janet, Diamond, David, and Diamond, Martha. (2005). Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility. St. Martin’s Griffin, NY.
Kinsey, Danielle. (2011). Journey to Destiny, Travelling Through Infertility. iUniverse.
Nadeau, Jenna Currier, and Nadeau, Mike. (2007). The Empty Picture Frame: An Inconceivable Journey Through Infertility. Outskirts Press.
Orenstein, Peggy. (2007). Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night, and One Woman’s Quest to Become a Mother. Bloomsbury.
Swire-Falker, Elizabeth. (2004). The Infertility Survival Handbook. Riverhead Trade.
Waits, Kristine. (2010). Every Drunken Cheerleader: Why Not Me? Endurance Publishing.
The Male Experience of Infertility
Rawlings, David, and Looi, Karen. (2006). Swimming Upstream: The Struggle to Conceive. Available at http://www.swimmingupstream.com.au/
Sedeka, Marc. (2011). What He Can Expect When She’s Not Expecting. Skyhorse Publishing.
Shover, Leslie R and Thomas, Anthony J. (2008; 2nd edition). Overcoming Male Infertility: Understanding Causes and Treatments. Wiley & Sons.
Wolfe, Greg. (2010). How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup. HarperCollins Publishers.
Simons, Harriet Fishman. (2007). Wanting Another Child: Coping with Secondary Infertility. Jossey-Bass, Incorporated Publishers.
Books in the “General Infertility” Section (above) that also have good chapters on secondary infertility include: The Long Awaited Stork: Parenting After Infertility, by Ellen Sarasohn Glazer; and Conquering Infertility, by Alice Domar.
Donor Conception and Third-Party Reproduction
Daniels, Ken. (2004) Building a Family with the Assistance of Donor Insemination. Dunmore Press.
Davis, Lennard J. (2009). Go Ask Your Father: One Man’s Obsession with finding His Origins Through DNA Testing. Bantam Dell.
Donor Conception Network. (2012). Mixed Blessings: Building a Family With and Without Donor Help. Available from the Donor Conception Network website: www.dcnetwork.org.
Donor Conception Network. Talking and Telling. Available at www.dcnetwork.org or http://www.infertilitynetwork.org. For parents of children 0-7, 8-11, 12-16, 17-adult.
Ehrensaft, Diane. (2005). Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates: Answering Tough Questions and Building Strong Families. Guilford Press. Highly comprehensive book. Written for both a professional and a general audience.
Friedman, J.S. (2007-2nd edition). Building Your Family Through Egg Donation – What You Will Want to Know About the Emotional Aspects, Bonding, and Disclosure Issues. Jolance Press. Available through the author.
Glazer, Ellen S. and Sterling, Evelina W. (2005). Having Your Baby through Egg Donation. Perspectives Press. Available throughwww.perspectivespress.com.
Griswold, Zara. (2006). Surrogacy was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers Tell Their Stories. Nightingale Press.
Lorbach, Caroline. (2003). Experiences of Donor Conception: Parents, Offspring, and Donors Through the Years. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Lorbach, Caroline. (2009 – 2nd edition). Experiences of Donor Conception: Parents, Offspring, and Donors Through the Years. New Zealand: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Mundy, Liza. (2008). Everything Conceivable: How the Science of Assisted Reproduction is Changing our World. Anchor Books.
Zeigler, Stacy. (2004). Pathways to Parenthood: The Ultimate Guide to Surrogacy. Brown Walker Press.
Aizley, Harlyn. (2006). Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All. Beacon Press.
American Psychological Association. (2005). Lesbian and Gay Parenting. Available through the American Psychological Association.
Ball, Carlos A. (2012). The Right to Be Parents: LGBT Families and the Transformation of Parenthood. University Press.
Bernstein, Robert A. (2005). Families of Value: Personal Profiles of Pioneering Lesbian and Gay Parents. Marlowe and Company. An Imprint of AvalonPublishing.
Brill, Stephanie and Sacks, Preston. (2006). The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth. Alyson Publications.
Clifford, Denis, Hertz, Frederick, and Doskow, Emily. (2007). A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples. Nolo Press.
Lev, Arlene Istar. (2004). The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide. Berkley Trade Paperback.
Miller, Amie Klempnauer. (2010). She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood. Beacon Press.
Pepper, Rachel. (2005). The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Preconception Through Birth.Cleis Press.
Single Parent by Choice Families
Hertz, Rosanna. (2008). Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood Without Marriage and Creating the New American Family. Oxford University Press.
Mattes, J. (1997). Single Mothers by Choice: A Guide for Single Women Who are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood. Three Rivers Press.
Morrissette, Mikki. (2008). Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide. Houghton Mifflin Company.
Parenting Over 40
London, Nancy. (2001). Hot Flashes Warm Bottles: First-Time Mothers Over 40. Celestial Arts.
Brodzinsky, David M. (2011). Adoption by Lesbians and Gay Men: A New Dimension in Family Diversity. Oxford University Press.
Cranshaw, Marilyn and Balen, Rachel. (2010). Adopting After Infertility: Practice, Research and Personal Experience. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Johnston, Patricia Irwin. (2008). Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families. Perspectives Press.
Pavao, Joyce. (2005). The Family of Adoption: Completely Revised and Updated. Beacon Press.
Carter, Jean W., and Carter, Michael. (1998). Sweet Grapes: How to Stop Being Infertile and Start Living Again. Perspectives Press.
Manterfield, Lisa. (2010). I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home. Steel Rose Press.
Scott, Laura. (2010). Two is Enough: A Couples Guide to Living Childless by Choice. Seal Press.
Tsigdinos, Pamela Mahoney. (2009). Silent Sorority: A Barren Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found. BookSurge Publishing.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Grassi, Angela and Mattei, Stephanie B. (2009). The PCOS Workbook: Your Guide to Complete Physical and Emotional Health. Luca Publishing.
Vliet, Elizabeth Lee. (2006). The Savvy Woman’s Guide To PCOS. The Savvy Woman’s Guide Publishing, Inc.
Miscarriage, Fetal Anomaly & Termination
Allen, M., and Marks, S. (1993). Miscarriage: Women Sharing from the Heart. Jon Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Cohen, Jon. (2007). Coming to Term: Uncovering the Truth About Miscarriage. Rutgers University Press.
Davis, Deborah. (1996). Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby. Fulcrum.
Kluger-Bell, Kim. (2000). Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Abortion, and Other Pregnancy Loss. Harper Collins.
McCracken, Elizabeth. (2008). An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir. Little, Brown and Company.
Kohn, Ingrid, Wilkins, Isabelle A., and Moffitt, Perry-Lynn. (2000). A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss—Guidance and Support for You and Your Family. Taylor & Francis, Inc.
Vredevelt, Pam. (2009). Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those that Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy. RandomHouse.
Taylor, Zoe. (2010). Pregnancy Loss: Surviving Miscarriage and Stillbirth. Kindle e-book.
For Parents Receiving News of a Fetal Anomaly
Brooks, Christie. (2008). Our Heartbreaking Choices: Forty-Six Women Share Their Stories of Interrupting a Much-Wanted Pregnancy. iUniverse, Inc.
Ilse, Sherokee. (2005). Precious Lives Painful Choices: A Prenatal Decision-Making Guide. Wintergreen Press.
Mayer-Whittington, Nancy. (2007). For the Love of Angela. Saint Catherine of Siena Press.
DePuy, Candace and Dovitch, Dana. (1997). The Healing Choice: Your Guide to Emotional Recovery After an Abortion. Fireside.
Torre-Bueno, Ava. (1997). Peace After Abortion. Pimpernel Press.
For Pregnancy After Loss
Lanham, Carol Ciruli. (1999). Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death. Berkley Trade.
Douglas, Ann and Sussman, John R. (2012). Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss. Taylor Trade Publishing.
Cox, Francesca. (2012). Celebrating Pregnancy Again. Kindle e-book.
Erickson-Schroth, Laura. (2014). Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community. Oxford University Press.
Books For Children
Donor Conception and Third Party Reproduction
Appleton, Tim. (2005). My Beginnings: A Very Special Story. Published by IFC Resource Center, U.K. Available through www.mybeginnings.org.
Balkwill, Fran and Rolph, Mics. (2002). Have a Nice DNA. Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory Press. (Ages 7+) Clear explanations of DNA and genetics. Part of a series of science books.
Celcer, Irene. (2007). Hope and Will Have a Baby: The Gift of Egg Donation. Graphite Press. Available from www.hopeandwill.net. (Ages 3-7).
Celcer, Irene. (2007). Hope and Will Have a Baby: The Gift of Sperm Donation. Graphite Press. Available from www.hopeandwill.net. (Ages 3-7).
Celcer, Irene. (2007). Hope & Will Have a Baby: The Gift of Embryo Donation. Graphite Press. Available from www.hopeandwill.net. (Ages 3-10).
Celcer, Irene. (2007). Hope & Will Have a Baby: The Gift of Surrogacy. Graphite Press. Available from www.hopeandwill.net. (Ages 3-10).
Cirisan, Wava. (2004). The Very Special Ducklings: A Very Simple Story About Egg Donation.
Donor Conception Network. (2002). Our Story. Published by Donor Conception Network. (Available at www.dcnetwork.org or http://www.infertilitynetwork.org/). Three versions of the book include children who were conceived by sperm donation to (1) heterosexual parents, (2) single parents, or (3) lesbian families.
Donor Conception Network. (2002). Our Story - for children conceived through double or embryo donation. Available at www.dcnetwork.org orhttp://www.infertilitynetwork.org/.
Gordon, Elaine. (2011). Mommy, Did I Grow in Your Tummy? Where Some Babies Come From. E.M. Greenburg Press, Inc. (Ages 4-10). Also includes adoption.
Grimes, Janice. (2004). Before You Were Born: Our Wish for a Baby. Available through www.xyandme.com. (Ages 2-6). Targeted to children in single-parent families and includes the following conception histories: donor insemination, IVF with donor sperm, donor egg/donor sperm, or donor embryo, single dad with traditional surrogate, and single dad with donor egg and gestational carrier
Jover, Carmen Martinez. (2005). A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life: An Egg Donor Story. (Ages 2-6).
Jover, Carmen Martinez. (2007). Recipes of How Babies are Made. Also available in Spanish at www.carmenmartinezjover.com. (Ages 4-8). Also includes adoption.
Jover, Carmen Martinez. (2009). A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life: An Egg Donor Story (for boys). Also available in Spanish at www.carmenmartinezjover.com. (Ages 2-6).
LaMothe, Sharon and Rella, Tina. (2011). Surrogacy Helps Make a Family Grow! Self- published. Written for younger and older children of gestationalcarriers.
Levin, Barbara Sue. (2008). Just the Baby for Me. Self-published. Written for younger and older children about one woman’s decision to become a mother with help from anonymous sperm donation.
Lewis-Long, Carla. (2010). Why I’m So Special: A Book About Surrogacy. AuthorHouse.
Margolis, Amy. (2006). Butterflies and Magical Wings. Amy Margolis Publishing. Out of print, but sometimes available through www.amazon.com. (Ages 4-8). Written by the mother of two children conceived through donor egg.
Martin, Tamra. (2010). Surrogacy, A Magical Delivery. Eloquent Books.
Nadel, Carolina. (2007). Mommy Was Your Tummy Big? Moonkind Press. Written for younger children conceived through egg donation.
Nadel, Caroline. (2007). Daddy, Was Mommy’s Tummy Big? Moonkind Press. Written for younger children conceived through sperm donation.
Napier, Juliet. (2006). Super Special Sisters: A Story about the Miracle of In-Vitro Fertilization. Trafford Publishing. Story of a family’s struggle with secondary infertility, as told by the first- born son.
Noble, Kim (2009). One More Giraffe. Self-published. Conception through donor egg.
Parr, Todd. (2010). The Family Book. Little, Brown & Co. (Ages 3-6).
Pellet, Sarah Phillips. (2006). The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story About Surrogacy for Young Children. Trafford Publishing. A book about surrogacy appropriate for children of surrogate or intended parents.
Poston, Karen. (2005). A Baby for Mabel and Frederick. (Ages 4-8). Written for children of gestational carriers.
Stamm, Linda (2010 – 2nd edition). Phoebe’s Family: A Story About Egg Donation. Graphite Press. Written for an older child to read independently, or to be read to a younger child.
Summer, Molly. (2010). Mom and Dad and the Journey They Had! CreateSpace. For children conceived with the help of an oocyte donor and gestational carrier.
Trouter-Wood, Tammy. (2011). I Love My Family. Available through www.myivfbooks.com. Conception with IVF, but can be easily adapted to telling the story of gamete donation. Includes a section for parents on talking with children about assisted conception, with useful glossary of terms.
Wichkham, Narelle. (2008). Where Did I Really Come From? Sexual Intercourse, DI, IVF, Pregnancy, Birth, Surrogacy, Adoption. Dullwich Hill, Australia: LearnToInclude Press. Written for an older child or teenager.
Harris, Robie H. (2006). It’s Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends. Candlewick Press. Sex education book appropriate to read to young children, or for older children to read to themselves.
Richardson, Justin, and Schuster, Mark. (2003). Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know about Sex (But were afraid they'd ask). Three Rivers Press.
Silverberg, Cory, and Smyth, Fiona (2012). What Makes a Baby, Reader's Guide. Zoball Press. Guide for parents who are looking for help when talking with their children about their conception and origins.
Baxter, Nicola. (2003). Our Story. Donor Conception Network. Available through www.dcnetwork.org. (Ages 3-6). A guide to donor insemination for young children, with one version about having lesbian parents.
Considine, Kaitlyn. (2005). Emma and Meesha My Boy: A Two Mom Story. Published by twomombooks.
De Haan, Linda and Nijand, Stern. (2003). King and King. Random House Children Books.
De Haan, Linda and Nijand, Stern. (2004). King and King and Family. Random House Children Books.
Grimes, Janice. (2004). Before You Were Born …Our Wish for a Baby: A Baby Conceived for Female Partners. X, Y, and Me Books. Available atwww.xyandme.com.
Grimes, Janice. (2004). Before You Were Born … Our Wish for a Baby: A Baby Conceived for Male Partners. X, Y, and Me Books. Available atwww.xyandme.com.
Gottlieb, Andrew. (2003). Sons Talk about Their Gay Fathers: Life Curves. Haworth Gay and Lesbian Studies, Routledge Publishers.
Howey, Noelle and Samuels, E. (Eds.) (2000). Out of the Ordinary: Essays on Growing Up with Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Parents. Stonewall InnEditions.
Jover, Carmen Martinez. (2009). The Baby Kangaroo Treasure Hunt: A Gay Parenting Story. Also Available in Spanish at www.carmenmartinezjover.com. (Ages 4-8).
Lewis-Long, Carla. (2011). Why I’m So Special: A Book About Surrogacy With Two Daddies. AuthorHouse. (Ages 2-5).
Oelschlager, Vanita and Blanc, Mike. (2011). A Tale of Two Mommies. Vanita Books.
Oelschlager, Vanita, Blackwood, Kristen and Blanc, Mike. (2013). A Tale of Two Daddies. Vanita Books.
Newman, Leslea and Souza, Diane. (2000). Heather Has Two Mommies. Alyson Publications.
Newman, Leslea and Thompson, Caroline. (2009). Mommy, Mama, and Me. Tricycle Press.
Polacco, Patricia. (2009). In our Mother’s House. Philomel Publishing.
Rella, Tina. (2010). Daddy and Pop. CreateSpace Publishing.
Rella, Tina. (2010). Mom, Mama, and Me...And How I Came To Be! CreateSpace Publishing.
Richardson, Justin, and Parnell, Peter. (2005). And Tango Makes Three. Simon and Schuster.
Snow, Judith. (2004). How it Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages. Haworth Gay and Lesbian Studies, Routledge Publishers.
Tompkins, Crystal, and Evans, Lindsey. (2009). Oh the Things Mommies Do: What Could Be Better than Having Two? Self Published.
Valentine, Johnny. (2004). One Dad, Two Dads, Brown Dad, Blue Dads. Alyson Books.
Valentine, Johnny. (2004). The Duke Who Outlawed Jelly Beans. Alyson Books.
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE): http://www.colage.org
Single Parent by Choice
Clay, George Anne. (2008). Why Don’t I Have a Daddy? AuthorHouse. (Ages 2-7).
Donor Conception Network. (2002). Our Story - for children conceived through sperm donation into single parent families. Available at www.dcnetwork.org or http://www.infertilitynetwork.org. (Ages 2-6).
Levin, Barbara. (2008). Just the Baby for Me. (Ages 2-6).
Rella, Tina. (2012). Mom and Me…the Way It Should Be. Guess Who? Multimedia. Available at http://guesswhomultimedia.com/bookstore.html orhttp://www.lovemakesafamilybooks.com/
Sherwin, Ali. (2009). The Adventures of Princess Mommy. 13th Moon Press. (Ages 4-12).
Curtis, Jamie Lee. (2000). Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born. Joanna Cotler. (Ages 4-8)
Celcer, Irene. (2010). Hope & Will Have a Baby: The Gift of Adoption. Graphite Press. (Ages 3- 10)
Miscarriage, Fetal Anomaly & Termination
Blanford, Cathy and Childers, Phyllis. (2008). Something Happened: A Book for Children and Parents Who Have Experienced Pregnancy Loss. Self-published.
Schwiebert, Pat. (2003). We Were Going to Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead. Grief Works.